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Show us your abs Jim!

Hugh

Jim

While on holiday, I have to admit that my mind occassionally wanders to thinking about work. Surprisingly, it is not thinking about the actual work, rather, I’m contemplating how Jim’s exercise regime is going. I’m away for 2 weeks. Surely by the time I get back his transformation into Tarzan of the Jungle will be complete?

He has already been crowing that he looks like Hugh Jackman. Now, I can’t be too disparaging of this claim. He is after all, my boss: it could be quite detrimental to my employment prospects! However, Jim, I’m going to recommend that prior to your Peru trek you get a thorough check-up from your doctor. Include an optometrist in that. Your eyes may be playing up.

I’m not going to insinuate that you are mistaken about your growing muscular strength. All that strenuous walking you’re doing to the photocopier will surely be resulting in a well-toned body. Where I think you’re mistaken is in the hair department. Jim, your hair gets more than an inch from your scalp and the whole office knows that you have to visit the barber immediately. As for the stubble… well, I’ve not seen you sport any. Now, if you are going to trek Peru, you need to look the part! Think Indiana Jones… think stubble and scruffy hair. Jim, you have to make the ultimate sacrifice and let that hair get close to your ears. It might be a helpful asset in protecting yourself from getting llama spit down your ears. We don’t want you needing to consult our audiologists for months thereafter searching for a slimy deposit in those ears.

On the serious side, I see that you have raised over $7,000 or to be precise, 24% to target. If you continue to fair well, perhaps you can raise the bar a little. I hear $2,460,000 is a good target to aim for… my colleagues and I could take the rest of the year off and leave you to impress us.

Then again, if you’re really looking like Hugh Jackman, you could just get a bit more like him and have enough money to just write a cheque!

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To check out Jim’s blog – who knows he could today be claiming to be Bridgette Bardot – you can visit him here.

The belly tackles Peru

I have a boss with one main flaw. He’s not a clockwatcher; he’s not a beancounter; he’s not a bore and he’s not easily offended.

He’s ambitious.

The saying ‘eyes too big for your belly’ was made for my boss. My boss: the man with the big eyes and the very little belly.

I went searching for an image which could adequately describe that saying. I found the perfect one on a site called “I Can Has Internets” (surely a homage to I can has cheezburger the home of lolcats). The blogger – Heesa Phadie – names this little guy as the world’s most ambitious squirrel.

A squirrel and his nut

I know you are wondering – what does a squirrel, a big-eyed boss with a little belly and Peru have to do with each other. Well, the belly on legs (as I shall call him) has decided to go on a trek in Peru to raise money for The Shepherd Centre to assist deaf children.

It is admirable that our CEO will put his belly where his mouth is and volunteer to trek in the Inca trail and take his best shot at dodging Llama spit. However it’s not the belly on legs’ decision to hike in South America which has inspired me to write this post. It’s that he is doing it, as only a man with very big eyes can. To participate in the Peru Challenge, people must raise $5,000 for the nominated charity (in this case, it’s us).

My boss being the ambitious man he is, has decided he wants to raise $30,000. Now I may scoff and say that he has as much chance of doing that as the above squirrel has of eating that nut. But I won’t. Scoffing will probably see me with egg on my face. If someone is going to achieve it, the belly on legs will. I just chipped in a little to assist the big-eyed one in reaching his target. You can join me here.

Peru Challenge: Raise Funds for The Shepherd Centre

A dilemma

I have two presentations to write for work next week. One is starting to percolate in my head. The other is stuck. So stuck that I’m returning to past tricks to see if I can recycle some of the more entertaining components of previous presentations.I try as much as possible to make presentations about data slightly more interesting than cutting your own toenails. By way of example, my last presentation on data involved a toddler sized purple bunny being hurled across the room. At the very least, anyone who was asleep had the very real chance of being hit in the head with presentation collateral.

If anyone has any suggestions for how to make a presentation on data segmentation, profiling and analysis interesting to potentially a bunch of marketers, please head over to my data monkey alter ego and assist me. At this stage, anything is fair game. Flying fluffy purple bunnies included.

Derelict hope


Derelict hope

Originally uploaded by scroobious_pip

11:51 am today. Phone beeps. Text message. “The older guy over the back and around the corner is dead on his floor, might have there a week :(”
The scary part is that I don’t find it that hard to imagine there are people who have so little contact with others that no one notices them disappear. At work I often hear that one of the key issues people who are homeless or extremely disadvantaged face, is social isolation. There is a campaign at the moment – hush for homelessness – centered around that very theme.
One of my work colleagues must have a strong network of friends. He and another girl have committed to stay silent for 3 hours as part of the hush campaign. So far she has about $200 in sponsorship and people have pledged around $2000 for him. Perhaps he’s someone who talks too much 😦
4:42pm – my friend, whose neighbour has died, says to me – there are all these blowflies. I can see them near the window.
Cat cuddles all afternoon. I love a good cuddle from my girls. There is just so much of them – to – cuddle.
I pick up some fairy wings and drive 3 minutes up the road to see my neice. I arrive to find her dressed like a mermaid with a tiara on her head. Her face lights up when she sees the wings. I ask her, does she know what happens a week before her birthday. She says no. I said, it’s my birthday a week before yours. I explain that I had a fantastic present this year from a good friend. I tell her that someone made a fuss on me. I ask her whether for her birthday she’d like to pick her favourite costume; I’ll curl her hair; we can go to the park and take photos. To my delight she thinks this is just the antz pantz. So next Saturday afternoon is dress-up day for her birthday.
7:30pm. Phone rings. Friend says, just caught someone trying to break into my neighbours house and steal his stuff. Smell is horrendous – makes you dry-retch. I called the police.
I hang up and wonder about these opportunists. What drives people to go into the house of someone recently departed; and discovered; and withstand the smell and the flies… for what?
10:30pm. Have to remove cat from lap so can prepare for bed. I scoop her up and transfer her to the washing basket. Saffron tolerates the transfer and Licorice joins me by the keyboard; telling the story of my day.