Press This Fido

Attention WordPress. You’re on notice. This evening, I uncovered a catastrophe of epic proportions. A catastrophe which must be addressed to maintain balance in the universe.

Readers, I hope you are sitting down. Brace yourself. Here it is.

Dogs have made it to the wordpress tag cloud. Cats have not.

 How could this have been allowed to happen? I’ve just told Saffron. She’s outraged. Well, to be honest she’s sleeping. But if she weren’t sleeping she’d be out in the street burning her bra with Germaine Greer and championing feline rights. (Not at all sure what feminism has to do with felinism but it was the first thing that came to mind).

So ok, here’s my plan. Isobel, Flossie, Animalartist, Oldcat one of us has to get on Freshly Pressed. I want front and centre a blog post protesting canine feline inequality. I want hundreds of proud cat servants tagging their posts appropriately with four little letters (cats), so they can take their right of place next to dogs.

Perhaps wordpress only allows animals with eyebrow muscles to make it to their tag cloud. Well, that’s just unfair. How heartbroken do you imagine Licorice will be when I tell her that it’s down to missing eyebrow muscles that she has to be searched for and cannot simply ‘be clicked’?

Yes, guys, one week into housesitting 4 cats in a one bedroom unit, I’ve lost it a little.

I want the boy to return. When here’s here the cups that I put in the sink magically wash themselves and levitate back into the cupboards. When he’s here, well, I’m there (being home).

Today I ended up wearing a t-shirt with paint on it to work. I apologised to my boss for my appearance. I explained I only packed limited clothes and didn’t check for paint spatters first.

As for the ‘cat farm’, as Andrew is calling this temporary feline storage arrangement, tonight it’s gone a little pear shaped. Well, pickle shaped to be precise. For some reason Pickle wants to chase everyone. Licorice, Saffron and Gesso are all fair game. Neither is the preferred ‘chasee’. He did go into a momentary lull while I was watching television. As soon as I turned out half the lights to go to bed it was ‘game on’. He probably heard me typing about cat inequality and it got him all fired up. Segregation has been re-instated. I’ve taken refuge in the bedroom with Licorice and Saffron. Poor Gesso will just have to outrun him until he decides it’s no fun anymore.

However back to the task at hand. So, do I have your assistance fellow cat lovers? Are you ready to tag? One word – cat plural. I don’t care which kind. Any cats, all cats, as long as they’re cats. Deaf ones, fat ones, old ones, new ones. I want blogs being tagged with cats. They can be three-legged, blind, neurotic or ragdoll happy, I don’t care. Torties, calicos, black, white, tabbies, ginger ninjas and even pink ones; it’s time for cats to take their pride of place in the wordpress tag cloud. If I don’t see a freshly pressed cat by the end of the week, I’ll be upset. C’mon! Your aloof independent cranky masters are depending on you: be the dutiful cat servant and tag your posts now. Together we can build a ‘cats’ tagging army and give those dog lovers a run for their money.


Posted on January 19, 2012, in Cats, Waffle and Nonsense and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 17 Comments.

  1. Even if it’s not about a cat? Or does cat as a categories count too? Is it cat or cats you want. I hadn’t known the eyebrow thing.
    I don’t know that I want to be freshly pressed…

    • I think the tag cloud rolls up categories and tags.
      As for singular or plural, I figured dogs was plural, so cats should be!
      Eyebrows – that’s a fascinating one. I saw in on a science program. The theory went that because cats don’t have eyebrow muscles it makes their facial expressions less easily interpreted by people. They were saying perhaps this is why some people really just don’t get cats.

  2. Perhaps another tag that could be added is lazy. I’ve just let the cats out for their walk, scratch, sniff around the front and back yard. Big effort, open back door to let out. Open tin of cat food to get them back in.

    If i was a dog owner i’d be pounding the streets having a brief wee stop at every three out of four trees. AND, if i was a lady i’d be carrying my little plastic poo bag. Not so, guys! A dogs life for owners!

  3. The power of tags. I maintain an orchid photo library and the second most viewed all time is an orchid photo tagged Sailor Boy ‘Popeye’

  4. Well, I obeyed anyway…

    Do dogs have eyebrow muscles? I know Gromit does, but he’s made of plasticine.

  5. We had no idea! We are outraged!

    Every single post on The Creative Cat is tagged with “cats”, and that is sometimes six posts in a day! Then I also have black cats, tortoiseshell cats, senior cats, two cats, three cats, four cats, five cats, six cats, seven cats, my household of cats, cats I’ve known, cats for adoption, cats adopted–I mean, what is it about “c-a-t-s” do they not understand?

    Can I possibly do any more to get their attention? Line up a bunch of naked dancing polecats–no that would be naked pole-dancing cats–at the top of my post?

    And who needs eye brow muscles when you’ve got all that s–t on your forehead, as George Carlin called the fine feline eyebrows, even demonstrating with finger motions on his own forehead.

    Please tell me what else I can do?!

  6. She probably practises when you are out. And does belly dancing. Set up a webcam on the scratching post, then you’ll see.

  7. Doh! I meant you could record. Though of course she might construe it as an invasion of privacy.

  8. I’m so confused. Do I not have eyebrow muscles???

  9. I would not be shocked if they suppress Cats to avoid a three inch tall “Cats” smack dab in the middle of the tags page.

    I think most of my posts are already so tagged, Pip.

    As for expressions, the eyebrow whiskers are there, and the ears even more so. My guess is that those who don’t get cats get stuck on the eyes – A cat will look right at you, and for some reason a lot of people hate it.

  1. Pingback: Thoughts from a crazy cat lady in training… « Weaselgal's Haven

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