Nuts on the inside

One day man will evolve – and I’m referring to the male of the species – to a point where he learns that reading instructions is beneficial to his survival. He will move past the unwritten law which states men ‘know’ how to assemble items without tuition. He will stop for a moment and consider the instruction writers of the world. Just for a second, he can imagine how unfulfilling a role that must be. To slave away writing and illustrating the ‘how to’ of everything from assembling the shed to seasoning your new wok. He will – for the briefest of moments – feel what it is like to have your life’s work, thrown away with the plastic, cardboard packaging and unexplained leftover metal bit of said project.

I’m sure long suffering women out there will point out that men like to ignore instructions simply to prolong the process of assembly. This means they have an extended amount of time to avoid anything else which may be required because they can claim they are ‘working on it’. This excuse may work for the birdfeeder or the new living room furniture to replace the cardboard box presently holding up the phone and the pot plant. After all, if days, weeks, or months pass where said male is still tinkering with the assembly, it is not too much drama. But when the item in question is the male’s main means of transport – his wheelchair – then I would think he could abandon his membership of the ‘males don’t read instructions’ cult just for a moment. But no. He just stares at the dismantled chair and offending bolt silently uttering every expletive he knows and hoping that his death stare will propel the nut into action and it will work.

And every woman knows the ending of this story. Every girl knows that it’s her job to pick up the instructions, read quietly and then as gently as she possibly can suggest to him that the screws go from the inside out, pointing at the instructions which explain said point.

One day, men will evolve to the point where reading instructions is a badge of honour. Until then, girls – take note – the only thing that’s nuts on the inside, is the idea in your man’s head that he can assemble anything!

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Posted on August 28, 2011, in Disability, Life, Waffle and Nonsense and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. …loved it loved it loved…100% true…

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