Attention WordPress. You’re on notice. This evening, I uncovered a catastrophe of epic proportions. A catastrophe which must be addressed to maintain balance in the universe.
Readers, I hope you are sitting down. Brace yourself. Here it is.
Dogs have made it to the wordpress tag cloud. Cats have not.
How could this have been allowed to happen? I’ve just told Saffron. She’s outraged. Well, to be honest she’s sleeping. But if she weren’t sleeping she’d be out in the street burning her bra with Germaine Greer and championing feline rights. (Not at all sure what feminism has to do with felinism but it was the first thing that came to mind).
So ok, here’s my plan. Isobel, Flossie, Animalartist, Oldcat one of us has to get on Freshly Pressed. I want front and centre a blog post protesting canine feline inequality. I want hundreds of proud cat servants tagging their posts appropriately with four little letters (cats), so they can take their right of place next to dogs.
Perhaps wordpress only allows animals with eyebrow muscles to make it to their tag cloud. Well, that’s just unfair. How heartbroken do you imagine Licorice will be when I tell her that it’s down to missing eyebrow muscles that she has to be searched for and cannot simply ‘be clicked’?
Yes, guys, one week into housesitting 4 cats in a one bedroom unit, I’ve lost it a little.
I want the boy to return. When here’s here the cups that I put in the sink magically wash themselves and levitate back into the cupboards. When he’s here, well, I’m there (being home).
Today I ended up wearing a t-shirt with paint on it to work. I apologised to my boss for my appearance. I explained I only packed limited clothes and didn’t check for paint spatters first.
As for the ‘cat farm’, as Andrew is calling this temporary feline storage arrangement, tonight it’s gone a little pear shaped. Well, pickle shaped to be precise. For some reason Pickle wants to chase everyone. Licorice, Saffron and Gesso are all fair game. Neither is the preferred ‘chasee’. He did go into a momentary lull while I was watching television. As soon as I turned out half the lights to go to bed it was ‘game on’. He probably heard me typing about cat inequality and it got him all fired up. Segregation has been re-instated. I’ve taken refuge in the bedroom with Licorice and Saffron. Poor Gesso will just have to outrun him until he decides it’s no fun anymore.
However back to the task at hand. So, do I have your assistance fellow cat lovers? Are you ready to tag? One word – cat plural. I don’t care which kind. Any cats, all cats, as long as they’re cats. Deaf ones, fat ones, old ones, new ones. I want blogs being tagged with cats. They can be three-legged, blind, neurotic or ragdoll happy, I don’t care. Torties, calicos, black, white, tabbies, ginger ninjas and even pink ones; it’s time for cats to take their pride of place in the wordpress tag cloud. If I don’t see a freshly pressed cat by the end of the week, I’ll be upset. C’mon! Your aloof independent cranky masters are depending on you: be the dutiful cat servant and tag your posts now. Together we can build a ‘cats’ tagging army and give those dog lovers a run for their money.